The Parody Of The Opera
by PittsBurghFuzz
Summary: This is a parody of the awesome stageshow. If you are unfamiliar with the genius team who made the stage show, and only saw the 2004 film which is also cool , then I suggest you go on the internet and check it out, so you familiar with it...ON HIATUS
1. Credits

Warning: This is a parody of the beloved stage play. This is a parody of Phantom, and is only a humorous parody. I hope you all can enjoy this parody. This chapter will be a parody on the credits.

Not currently playing anywhere

The Really Not So Useful Group and Mackintosh Computers present:

The Parody of the Opera

THE SHORTEST LIVED THING ON BROADWAY!

Starring:

Michael "Not Jackson" Crawford

Sarah Not-so-Brightman

Steve(I don't know, its Steve.)

That George guy who has been on his damn show too long, Another Dude with Mr. George something, The Toad

The creepy old lady, The fat man who weeps, That girl who appears in the last scene

At certain performances, the role of "Christine", will be played by That random girl no one cares about

Music by:

ANDREW LLOYD WEBBSLINGER

Lyrics by Charles Hartattack

Additional Lyrics in case if Mr. Hartattack was too drunk by RICHARD STONER

Book by Mr. Stoner and Mr. Webbslinger

Based on some obscure book by a short French dude

Directed by

DA PRINCE

SCENES

PROLOGUE

Set in some auction, which will be the future basis for ebay

OVERTURE

Also known as a good excuse to make good use of the chandelier.

ACT I (a good place to start I suppose)- PARIS, IN A TIME BEFORE THE CONVENIENCE OF CELL PHONES...maybe.

Scene 1-The dress rehearsal some weird show that takes place in Africa (I don't know, I don't like it myself)

"Are you really thinking of her when I have a better body?"...Christine, Raoul, Carlotta

Scene 2-After the bizarre success

"Angel of YouTube"...Meg, Christine

Scene 3-Christine's dressing room

"Raoul The Little Stalker/The Automatic Door"...Raoul, Christine, Phantom

Scene 4- Going into that smelly place.

"The Parody of the Opera"...,...Christine, Phantom

Scene 5-At the smelly place

"Videos Of The Night"...Phantom

Scene 6-After they got drunk

"Why the hell am I here/This is Weirder Than My Dream"...Christine, Phantom

Scene 7-Backstage

"I want to Stalk you"...Buquet, Madame Giry, Meg, and Ballet

Scene 8-The Manager's Crib

"Txt Messages/Paparazzi"...Managers, Carlotta, Raoul, Giry, Meg, Piangi, Phantom

Scene 9- A performance of "Twilight"

"Poor fools, They Make Me Moan."...Carlotta and whoever else is there

Scene 10-At a loud bar

"Why Are You Going/Raoul, Do You Have Some Alcohol?"...Christine, Raoul

"All I Want of You"...Christine, Raoul

"All I Want of You"(reprise)...Phantom

ENTER ACT (I don't feel like using the fancy way of saying it).

ACT II-E-3 CONVENTION, HELD AT THE PARIS OPERA HOUSE

Scene 11-E-3

"Phenomena/Why Don't You Subscribe?"...Everyone who is not drunk

Scene 12-Manager's Crib

"Txt Messages/Why is Everyone Staring?"...Managers, Carlotta,Christine, Raoul, Piangi, Phantom

Scene 13-A graveyard near a water park

"Why Did You Have To Die Like That?"...Christine

"Wasted Chick/Wow, Really Monsieur/"...Phantom,Christine,Raoul

Scene 14-Don Juan Failure

"Past 1,000 Subscribers"...Phantom, Christine

Scene 15-Going to the smelly place(again, yeah I know, a bit repetitive, right?)

"Down 500,000 Subscribers/Track Down This Troll"...Anyone who is still cares enough to be here

Scene 16-At the smelly place

"Final YouTube Battle"...Phantom, Christine, Raoul

Scene 17-Still at the smelly place

"How About a Sequel?"...Phantom, Andrew Lloyd Webbslinger


	2. Prologue & Overture

Prologue- Auction in Paris which will become the basis for ebay.

A drunk auctioneer hammers at his deck and auctions off something of great value.

"Horse manure, sold for 40 Francs." he said, seemingly drunk.

An elderly man in a wheelchair entered the room with his aide, hoping to get something from the auction.

The auctioneer continued.

"Well, as I was, HICUP! Oh how dry I am, oh sorry." he threw up all over the place.

An audience member whispered, "Gee Frank, I hope not every is drunk." the woman said to her husband.

"Well, now we are auctioning a funny lookin' monkey. Vicomte, do you want the monkey?" the auctioneer asked the old man.

He whispered, "Dude, you have the wrong monkey, how much did you drink?"

"Whoa, I shall have none of that, anyway, do you want this goddamn monkey or what? Its part of the story, right?" the drunk auctioneer said, slowly.

"Harry! I need the monkey in the music box! You are ruining the production!" the old man said to him.

"Alright bub, you know what we are only in practice right now, so shut the hell up and take the goddamn monkey, now would you?"

"Dude, this is a live performance, not practice."

The auctioneer looked to the audience for a brief moment.

"Alright, Steve, very funny, now if you don't stop it I'm gonna."

"Someone get this man off the stage!" Steve shouted.

"Alright, you know what, I am unleashing the monkey now!"

The monkey came out of its cage and attacked Steve in the face. He was screaming in pain as the Overture started.

The Police entered the facility, trying to find a man who stole a monkey from the zoo, and found their culprit. To escape, he took hold of the rising chandelier, and rose to the top.

"You never catch me, f#$!" he shouted, while giving inappropriate gestures. He even took off all of his clothes.

The police had a hard time trying to get him. The man jumped from the chandelier, thinking it was safe, but fell to his death. Most of the audience left.


	3. Scene 1

Scene 1- The dress rehearsal some weird show that takes place in Africa

At some random building in Paris, I am guessing the Opera House, the cast was preparing for some weird show in Africa, which most people thought would be a success. There were a bunch of exotic dancers onstage dancing, and they started to pull some weird moves, but this was so far the only part going according to plan, or so we think...

There was an elephant float on the stage that was moving up and down, like cars owned by people who think they are cool. The truth was that the men inside the float were trying to pick up some chicks. Then, Carlotta sang. This was terrible. Not because, she sang bad, no, quite the opposite really. She was playing Carlotta, and sang beautifully! All of a sudden, a back round was supposed to fall on her but, wait, what's happening backstage.

"Um, when is the freaking back round gonna come down?" Carlotta yelled while stomping like a spoiled child.

Backstage, the fly men were sleeping. Steve, who was severely attacked by a monkey only minutes earlier, had his face covered in bandages, but was forced to go on.

The same woman in the audience from earlier, whispered to her husband again.

"Frank, are you sure you got tickets for "The Phantom of the Opera"?" she asked.

Frank had a thin face, and wore a black hat.

"I think I did Betty, so far, this show is pretty bad." he replied.

Then, the managers started to speak with Steve(Raoul).

"So, welcome, our new Partner, now we can join channels and become YouTube partners, like me and Andre." Firman said to Raoul.

Steve's speech was muffled because of the bandages. He could not say a comprehensible word.

The audience was scratching their heads and trying to figure out what was going on. So, they continued on.

After that, Carlotta left the stage and Christine went up(Sarah Not-so-Brightman). Like the auctioneer, she had a few drinks as well.

"_How can you think of her when I have the better body?"_

"_How can you stand that fat body when you have, me?"_

She was so drunk that she put in new lines for the song, and shocked the whole audience, or what was left of them.

"_How can you think of her, how can you think of her, when you have an $$ like mine If you were to question yourself, stop and think of last night! Think of all the fun we had and done, don't think about the mistakes, which are now with new parents."_

After she actually said some of the right lyrics, Christine was now at the end of the song, which was not only the best, but also the most disgusting part in the song.

"_A-a-a-a-a-a, _BLAH!" and she barfed, as her conclusion. When Steve got up to do his fake clap, the backround finally fell, but on him, and it hurt like hell, so he had to be treated again. Some audience members were captivated by the unintentional comedy, and some came back.


	4. Scene 2

Scene 2-After the performance

The audience was so quiet, that forget about a falling pin, you could hear a falling pin on the other side of the earth. It was an eerie silence, and a bad omen. The audience knew damn well that the show was going to end up a flop. However, they wanted to see how this crap plot was about to unfold.

The actress playing Meg approached Christine, drinking a bottle of gin. The she thought she heard something.

"Kudos, kudos, kudos to you." the mysterious voice told her.

"Um, Christine?" she asked.

Christine belched. "What do ya want, you son of a-BLAH!" she threw up.

"You did great on that video on YouTube, I guess."

"You know something, you whore, I was once rich and famous, 'the greatest child star in the world." they told me, but after he died, my career took a huge spiral. My father told me, when he died, that he would send the Angel of YouTube, and with all of the hits my videos are getting, I think my my YouTube career is about to soar."

Then, she began to sing.

"_Father once spoke of an angel, I used to dream he'd help me, make those videos, without the hassle of Windows Movie Maker!"_

"_Christine you must have been drinking, we have to deal with Movie Maker, even the diva Carlotta, and somehow you've proved..." Meg sang_

"_Angel of YouTube, sponsor and partner, can grant me that ability..." Christine sang._

"_Christine that is im-"_

"_Impossible you might say, not true I tell you, he can help me get more subs than niggahigga!"_

"_Christine, your face is red, you must have been drinking..."_

"_He is always around us..."_

"_I serious Christine, its red!"_

"_It doesn't bother me."_

"_But it does me."_

Then, Madame Giry, the creepy lady, entered the room.

"Meg, come with me to practice. Are you a partner with YouTube?" she asked her daughter.''

She shook her head no.

"Then get out!"

Meg frowned and walked out of the room, uttering inaudible dialogue, but it is better for young children not to hear. Did I mention that this show is appropriate for children under age four?


	5. Scene 3

Scene 3- Christine's dressing room

After Meg and Christine ended their bizarre conversation, Christine went to hide herself in the confines of her dressing room. Then a knock was at the door.

"Who is it?" Christine asked.

A mumble was heard.

"Come on, you are going to have to do better than that for me to know who you are." Christine yelled.

Well, behind the door, was Steve, the guy who was playing Raoul. He was in a full body cast, and was on a wheel chair. He could only mumble because his entire face was covered.

"You know what, I will have to open the door then." Christine opened the door.

"Oh, now they tell me that I get the invisible cripple as my love interest?" she complained.

Christine slammed the door in Steve's face, and the poor soul fell over on his side. He was mumbling for help. He had broken some more bones. Christine continued to drink more gin.

Steve was still on his side, and it wasn't for another few minutes that someone was going to pick him up.

Christine was still waiting for the Phantom to greet her at the mirror.

"OMG, these leading men are so unprofessional, like why the hell isn't the deformed guy here yet? Another thing, why is that sonofabitch Raoul in medical bandages? Did his balls drop or something?"

The audience was cracking up at the greatest unintentional comedy, since "Plan 9 From Outer Space".

"Frank," Betty said to her husband, "are you sure this is the right show?"

"Yes," he relied, "they are just having some technical difficulties."

Christine was then txt messaging with her envy touch.

"Sarah," the conductor whispered, "get off your bloody phone!"

Then, a mysterious voice came into the scene.

"_Insolent boy, this slave of twitter, tweeing your glory, ignorant fool, this brave young sponsor, sharing in my internet triumph." the voice of the Phantom sang._

"Who is that?" Christine asked.

"Um, Sarah, your turn." the Phantom replied.

"Oh, okay then..." she said confused.

"Eh-em," the Phantom coughed, "sing for me."

"_Angel I hear you, speak I might listen, that is if its about, my YouTube fame, Angel my video was weak, forgive me, enter in my video chat, please."_

"_Flattering child you will see me, see why I hide behind the image of my avatar, look at your face in the monitor, my real face, will appear."_

"_Angel of YouTube, editor and sponsor, grant to me more, funding, Angel of YouTube, hide no longer, come to me stalkerish, Angel."_

"_I am your Angel of YouTube, come to me Angel of YouTube."_

_Steve was supposed to say something, but he was with the theater's doctor._

"Um, Steve?" the Phantom asked.

"Oh, yeah, Steve 'hurt' himself." Christine told him.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, it seems like he has been injuring himself in every scene today, you know?"

"Yeah, I get what you're saying, the only reason why I didn't come on cue that time is because I was unsure whether they took care of him or not. You know who really looses in this scenario?"

"Who?"

"The audience, they pay so much goddamn money just to see a show that they could see on television, and when someone like Steve f&*^s it up, the audience is out like $80 at minimum."

"I know right? I mean, some of the audience members could have sold their souls to Satan just to see this crap."

An audience member got up crying, "It wasn't my fault!"

"Hey Sarah, do you want a cigarette?" the Phantom asked Christine.

"Sure Mike, light me up." she replied.

"Wait, let me open this automatic door."

Christine was impatient. She kept walking into the monitor, until she knocked herself out.

"Um, I guess, I will carry you to the lair. Sarah, wake up." the Phantom said shaking Christine.

"Huh? Daddy, why were you hurting mommy?" she asked, obviously drunk.

"Come to your senses Sarah!" he yelled.

"Oh, right, lets go onto the next scene then, and why are we standing here? I don't think any of us wants to be a Steve, who doesn't contribute to anything and is always skipping scenes for no reason."

"You make a valid point." he replied.

After the two got into the monitor, Raoul came out to the stage in his wheelchair again.

"Wait, I am ready for my next scene! Wait, they didn't announce an intermission?" Steve said, confused.


	6. Scene 4

Scene 4- Going to the Smelly Place

The smoke machines started to release the mist, transitioning to the next scene. However, Steve was still in his wheelchair, stuck in the midst of it all.

"Um, Carl? Where are you?" he said to himself.

Carl was the man who was supposed to wheel Steve around. However, he was dealing drugs in the alleyway, so Steve was stuck. Then, the bridge over the stage appeared, and Mike and Sarah were singing the title song.

"_He sent me a PM, he liked my vids, this vids referenced me, he gave me a shout out, and do I log on, I'll always find, The Parody of the Opera is there, on my YouTube channel." she sang._

"_Make one more video, I get it featured, my power over YouTube, grows stronger yet, and before you know it, you'll be able to use copyrighted material, The Parody of the Opera is there, on your YouTube." he sang._

After they crossed the bridge, the Phantom and Christine went on the boat.

"_Those who have read your comments, think you're a troll, I am your alternate account," Christine sang._

"_Its my comments they read," the Phantom sang._

"_Your/my hacking skills and my/your personality, in one combined, The Parody of the Opera is here/there, inside my/your mind." they both sang. _

During the boat ride, Steve was knocked over, and the motor of the boat got stuck. More bones on Raoul's body were broken.

"_When you were a child, you always knew, that some weird old guy," the Phantom sang._

"_Was going to help my career," Christine sang._

"_And on the World Wide Web, where the public domain thrives, The Parody of the Opera is here/there. Inside my/your mind." they both sang. _

"_Sing, my Angel of YouTube." he asked Christine._

"_He's there, the Parody of the Opera," Christine sang._

"_Yes..."_

"_La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la..." she sang._

"_Yes, its a featured video now!"_

"_La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la."_

"_Yes, more views than 'Bad Romance'."_

"_La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la."_

"_Now, it has 1,000,000,000 views!"  
_

"_La!"_

"_I have brought you, to where YouTube keeps it content, to this kingdom where all must pay homage to videos, videos. You have come here, for one purpose and one alone, since the moment I first saw your vid, I have needed you with me to serve me to sing, for my content, my content."_

Right before the Phantom got to his next number, some other stage guy got Steve backstage.


	7. Scene 5

Scene 5: At the Smelly Place

Christine decided to take out a cigarette and smoke. A man in the mezzanine was yelling.

"Hey! This is a smoke free theater! If I can't smoke, neither can you!"

The man jumped from the mezzanine, but fell on Steve, who was trying to leave the theater. The man died, but Steve lived as usual. No one came to help him.

"Betty, was that the chandelier crash already?" Frank asked his wife.

"Why no Frank, that was just an unfortunate accident." Betty replied.

While Christine was smoking on stage, the Phantom was getting annoyed.

"You know what, I'm gonna take this mask off and scratch myself. It gets really itchy."

The Phantom started to scratch the deformed side of his face, revealing it to everyone.

"I thought Christine unmasks the Phantom. Damn you Llyod Webbslinger!"

Another fat man walked from his orchestra seat to try and punch the Phantom in the face. However, a car crashed through the theater, killing the fat man. Kanye Whatshisname came from the car with a microphone and said:

"Sorry to interrupt you, but Llyod Webbslinger wrote one of the best musicals of all time!"

Then, a blonde girl, took a guitar and beat Kanye to death. She dragged his corpse off the stage.

"Well, that was fun." Christine said.

"Yeah. Who was that fat guy?" the Phantom said.

"Oh, I think he was a Leroux Phan-boy. Wait, aren't you supposed to be singing right now?"

"Singing what?"

"I think your most important song in the whole damn show!"

"Oh, that one. Um, give me a second folks." The Phantom turned around and coughed.

"_Videos, posted, heightens my subscribers, everyday, makes me want to post some more vids, silently the moderators, take down my vids and chucks oars?"_

_The audience looked confused, but they went along with it. The Phantom dismounted from his organ, and approached Christine._

"_Slowly, patiently, YouTube grants partnership, take it, accept it, you'll get bucket loads of money; turn your face away, from the stupid comedians, turn your thoughts away from foolish dumbstruck idiots; and make sure you view, the Videos of the Night...Close your eyes, and spam, those stupid, weird comedians, purge your thoughts of more sophisticated content, close your eyes, let your subs start to soar!"_

_Christine passed out._

"You have got to be kidding me." the Phantom said to himself.

He carried Christine to the boat, and covered her body with something that resembled a fire blanket.

"Sorry folks, we are going to take a ten minute intermission." the Phantom told the audience.

The curtain closed. The show was sucking and Steve was in pain, but what else is new...


	8. Scene 6

Scene 6: After they got Drunk

By: PittsBurghFuzz

After the ten minute intermission, Christine finally woke up.

"Holly s**t, I have a hell of a headache. What the hell happened?"

The Phantom was at his organ composing some bad music.

Christine sang,

"_I remember there were vids, swarming my subscriptions page, there were ads all a around, and I believe there was a channel, and in that channel there was a partner."_

Christine took off the Phantom's mask.

"What happened to you dude?" Christine asked.

"Do you mind, I'm trying to write the greatest musical ever!"

Christine read it out loud,

"Love Never Dies?"

"_Damn you! You revealed my secret, you little bitch, now you'll suffer the sequel with me, curse, you, you little lying subscriber, you goddamn spoiler, now you must endure this with me!"_

"Wait, a minute, Webbslinger wrote a sequel to this garbage?" Christine asked.

"Well, he was hopping this would make billions."

"Jesus, I think he lost money."

"Well, at least we can be thankful for one thing."

"What?"

"It isn't Spiderman the Musical..."

**Sorry for the short chapter and not updating in forever, but my computer was with Geek Squad for a few weeks. Updates for this are coming soon!**


	9. Scene 7

Scene 7: I want to stalk you

By: PittsBurghFuzz

After that disastrous result, a creepy looking fat guy was surrounded by a bunch of attractive sixteen year-olds. The scene was dark, and none of the props were on stage.

Then the fat guy became touchy feely.

"_I wish to stalk you.."_

"Um, sorry, but I want that Phantom guy to stalk me."

"But he's only stalking that drunk." Buquet took a sip from his bottle of hard whiskey.

"Look who's talking." Another one said.

"Cheryl! Pass me the vodka!" one ballerina asked.

"Sure thing Betsy." Cheryl passed the bottle down.

"I'm surrounded by bunch of drunk teenagers. Well, its better than working on Spiderman." Buquet admitted.

Then things started to get wild...

Steve slowly crawled on stage, and the girls noticed him.

"Its a moving mattress! Let's jump on it!"

Steve begged no, but his body cast muzzled his speech.

Then, Steve was further injured.

Madame Giry came on stage and was shocked at everything she was watching.

"You childish buffoons are having a party, and didn't invite me?" Madame Giry asked.

"Well, we don't have much liquor." Buquet told Giry.

"Who says you need liquor to have fun?"

Meg was in her dressing room wondering why the show hasn't moved on to the next scene already.

When she walked on stage, Meg was in for a shock.

Not only Madame Giry was making out with one of the understudies, but half of the ballerinas were naked.

"I turned down Spiderman for this?"

"I know how you feel." Steve barely mumbled.


End file.
